It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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