If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
