I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
