absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
