I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
