Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Im part way to drunk.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
