I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
