are you so shy because you have an std?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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