i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
