FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
