He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
two words: eviction party
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
