I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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