first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
