Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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