Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
