This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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