He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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