Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
