But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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