It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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