Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
