They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
