I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
