peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
