sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
