He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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