the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
