You can't special order awesome
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
