i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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