I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
