So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I can't put those talents on a resume
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
