I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
