Plan B is the new Plan A
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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