I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
