i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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