Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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