my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize