im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
