At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
thus making me awesome and them whores
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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