I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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