So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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