But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
