youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
