Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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