So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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