He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
