This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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