she was so not down for the gang bang
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
