I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize