I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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