I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
