Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
