He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
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I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
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i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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