Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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