My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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