That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
