Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
