I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
