So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize