if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
