just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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