The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
