Pappa wants mamma naked
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
of course. lets lasso hookers.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
