saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
